IM IN THE MOOD FOR LISTS AGAIN! HURRRR ME GOOO!
1.why do wack people think they are so much colder than they really are? ahaha too many
2.i am elated that i will be in good ol NY for new years...indeed said the cat. im so tired of the this area i dunno WHAT to do.
3.when people show you who they are the first time,, believe them! :o or joke's on U! SMH
4.PONDERS over winter dougie after returning from NY....um stupid fresh.
5.Really starting to own my hair cut....short hair makes me feel like a bad a$$ lol
6.Liars and white liars and fibbers and "not whole truth tellers" ....grrr. :x
7."oh that was your man, i thought i recognized em" lol
8.I'm sooo in the christmas spirit :)
9. cOolin.
10.currently listening and dancing to Michael Jacksons "off the wall" album. rip Mike :(
11. watching "pass the dutchie" video on you tube. Classic island rump rollin muzic.
12.Lookin for my real life Ryan leslie...Bae? where u at lol
13.I still get extra crunk to that 69 boyz song "come on ride that train" in the car...and make my passengers...all of them...do the dance.
14.Who said chivalry was dead?..... AHAHA was right smh
15.If nikki MInaj comes out on one more persons track?! i swear she the tpain of 09 lol next up NIkki MInaj and Miley Cyrus "Welcome to Miley's Slumber party" lol
16.dope. mad. ill. good money. bananas=adjectives for things that are overly great
17.i like places with dim lights and colored candles, old skool hip hop on the 1's and 2's , GOOD convo and a tasty drink. Moscato or a blue MF to be exact.
18. Otown is where the illest come from
19.i like to watch people who can't dance so i can join them, and dance just like them to get them more amped LOL
20. MIlk angers me, thats prolly why my bones will be angry with me when im 50
21.Total package.
22.Sammy sosa? must be nice (inside joke)
23.it's ok x6.....-drake
24.Moving no later than a year from now. Bam!
25.Baby you fly.
26.do people say booyah anymore, cuz i do lol
27."being taken for granted can be a compliment! it means that you've become a comfortable trusted element in another person's life"-dr. joyce brothers :) she makes it sound soo good right...psych! lol
28.2010.....are you ready for me?!?! warm up......NOW.
29.I get WEAK from reading Chuck norris facts online
30.last but certainly not least, all jokes aside now....LOVE the life you've been given, remember who you are, forgive, love & remember to take things in when they happen becuz " nobody remembers their life, they remember moments"....never regret something that ONCE made you smile.
Signing off from my 30 random thoughts of today
Jenius :D
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Who dat is?!?!?! Thas JUST MY BabY DaDdy ♥
I am on my “mmhmm,” they are on they “Oh, No!”I am really in here, they ain’t real like Soul Glo Don’t you know I’m so sho, them n-gga’s got no Glow Find a master ‘fore you can come back into the dojo.- LupE "turnt up"
Ladies and Gents you are now rockin wit the BEST!!!!!
I present to you a little something to keep us LUPE FIASCO AKA WASALU MUHAMMAD JACO AKA THE REALEST......NEW MIXTAPE ENEMY OF THE STATE.
IF THIS MIXTAPE ISN'T ENOUGH TO GET YOUR MIND AMPED FOR his new CD!!! I DUNNO WHAT IS........I ONLY HAVE ONE THING ON MY CHRISTMAS LIST...........
NEW CD COMING OUT OF COURSE!!! ON THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR ......................................
Dec. 25th entitled "Friend of the People"
SO ILL :x
YOur wElcome ;). get at this link below lil buddays..
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
DEAth to priDE
Sitting back doing some self-evaluation. Question becomes how serious do people take me? bbuttt then i went hard on myself and dug deeper.....how serious AM I WITH MYSELF?????now...wait a minute! lol this doesn't mean i'm not an honest loyal person. Those are traits i value and continue to hold as things that people should easily categorize me as....but. again. I think i have an issue of trying to mirror people's feelings. Now to ME thats not being fake, it's me using a defense mechanism. For instance if I feel like someone is unreal, fake, bogus, non chalant, rejecting me, hurt my feelings etc. for any situation....i let it sting for a FEW seconds,,,,,,and then i go into overdrive. overdrive in this situation means that it's almost like an alarm system goes off and tells my mind and body to go numb. this sounds drastic but this is seriously what happens. i then start to tell myself, whatever has happened doesn't affect me and that i knew it or expected it to happen. I think when i feel like i expected something out of someone it allows me to NUMB the situation and feel a sense of comfort like "wooo thank god i was prepared for this so it can't hurt me" when ur really never always ready for all of life's blows. This has just been on my heart for a couple weeks now. I pride myself in being real with others ......but when it comes to ME......really do i pride myself on having pride???i seriously think in the middle of my reflection that i realized some real stuff about me. This is one of the hardest things im going to have to do. i have got to stare life's situations in the face and take it, feel the burn, and coast. Now im not sayin that i don't do that now, the only difference is i refuse to feel the burn because i view that as failure.....Maybe that's what it is, im real with Everyone but sometimes im AFRAID TO BE real with myself. I'm pretty sure this behavior will make me miss out on people in my life circle who really are in my corner because sometimes without notice i slowly but surely push people AWAY....what's sadder is they don't get a memo for when it's going to happen unless for some weird reason they suspect that their in process of me deleting them and ask why i'm actin distant? THIS IS BAD i KNOW :(. This is due to the fact that in this weak frame of thought i kinda think like "screw this, b4 u get screwed" mentality and in all reality what if the person never planned to 'screw u" lol from the start,,,,this is sad, but at the same time, im only human.....im just trying to live and learn........just from releasing this through blog i realized that sometimes, maybe, i have to understand that i can't be super strong, super human, super resilient wonder woman, who "acts and thinks like a boy" who doesn't feel pain to save face. I think it would be appropriate to be JeNnY..... SOMETIMES lol, the girl who allows herself to feel, the girl who allows herself to love hard, the girl who cares and the girl who dreams without fear of the unknown. I feel refreshed.....you know what they say in therapy, the first step is admitting you have a problem......here we are....DAY 1. wish me luck
jenius
Proverbs 11:2, When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
jenius
Proverbs 11:2, When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
UNTITLED
I left this untitled for a reason. Wrote it in 6 minutes record time lol just me being bored and feelin artistic. not my best poetry session but....whatev here we go.
she keeps walking past me and i never noticed her grace
never knew how much she meant to me until i was faced
with the fact, that she was leavin me....
how could it be,
i forgot to take a minute and remember that she
had been there since day one, forever by my side
well sorta until my number came up then she said she would ride....
im missin her, but it seems like the more that i i do
im diggin a bigger hole for myself so its best to keep movin
she told me i would miss her when she left me,
i laughed!
but now im crazy like
who was i foolin?
i gotta get her back
but it's a fact that she's gone forever with no return
waited too long, she said it's best to let our past burn...
BUT
she said it's a little hope in the future...
in the next couple days months years its promise left for me to seize her
hope i please her
so i can by back some of her preciousness
im tryin
Stopped and asked her what her name was and she replied......
TIME.
jenius
she keeps walking past me and i never noticed her grace
never knew how much she meant to me until i was faced
with the fact, that she was leavin me....
how could it be,
i forgot to take a minute and remember that she
had been there since day one, forever by my side
well sorta until my number came up then she said she would ride....
im missin her, but it seems like the more that i i do
im diggin a bigger hole for myself so its best to keep movin
she told me i would miss her when she left me,
i laughed!
but now im crazy like
who was i foolin?
i gotta get her back
but it's a fact that she's gone forever with no return
waited too long, she said it's best to let our past burn...
BUT
she said it's a little hope in the future...
in the next couple days months years its promise left for me to seize her
hope i please her
so i can by back some of her preciousness
im tryin
Stopped and asked her what her name was and she replied......
TIME.
jenius
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I just wanna be successful.....
in the mood to write poetry....comes once a month lol....wanna hear it...here it go.lol
weary minds, perpetuate false melodies to life's song
i choose to whistle positivity my days long
wise minds know that sky's the limit
and as long as your eyes stare in one direction
you guaranteed to win it
yup its dream killas, and swag stealers and "negative nancys"
say to these posers its cool "i get it how i fancy"
"you can have whatever you like" is what they say to me
i decline and tell em my ego refuses, but i can upgrade U like my diva B
im choosin to turn my fantasies into realities
cuz real eyes recognize, a dream aint nothin but a lie
to those who used to be blind but now see
meaning... they found there were no obstacles that lay down before them
"success is just a state of mind", but to those without determination, words seem foreign
my granddaddy told me "you can be ANYTHING you wanna be"
well Gpa... i know you starin down and im gone make you proud of me
my people came toO far for me to stop where im standin
My president is Black?!?!?!?!, aww naw OK! i got the message no time for meanderin
to whom much is given much is expected
so i know what im about to embark on soon is predicted to be hectic
final words to the audience of minds i just explored
please don't think this is cockiness....its confidence...believe me im sure! ;)
Just take notes and remember just don't give up
yup im done with this let me move on.. let me let up
somebody beam me up
im on another level, so be easy..i got my head up :)
Jenius
weary minds, perpetuate false melodies to life's song
i choose to whistle positivity my days long
wise minds know that sky's the limit
and as long as your eyes stare in one direction
you guaranteed to win it
yup its dream killas, and swag stealers and "negative nancys"
say to these posers its cool "i get it how i fancy"
"you can have whatever you like" is what they say to me
i decline and tell em my ego refuses, but i can upgrade U like my diva B
im choosin to turn my fantasies into realities
cuz real eyes recognize, a dream aint nothin but a lie
to those who used to be blind but now see
meaning... they found there were no obstacles that lay down before them
"success is just a state of mind", but to those without determination, words seem foreign
my granddaddy told me "you can be ANYTHING you wanna be"
well Gpa... i know you starin down and im gone make you proud of me
my people came toO far for me to stop where im standin
My president is Black?!?!?!?!, aww naw OK! i got the message no time for meanderin
to whom much is given much is expected
so i know what im about to embark on soon is predicted to be hectic
final words to the audience of minds i just explored
please don't think this is cockiness....its confidence...believe me im sure! ;)
Just take notes and remember just don't give up
yup im done with this let me move on.. let me let up
somebody beam me up
im on another level, so be easy..i got my head up :)
Jenius
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
R. LES FOR PREZ!!!!!!!
yOU ARE fast asleep if you do NOT know who RYAN LESLIE is...or his label NEXT SELECTION....he's a writer, producer, musician, vocalist, business man, Harvard University graduate, the man even has a dope freestyle umm etc. etc.! lol i respect his work so much because EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ON HIS SONGS IS ALL HIM, From the little trumpet in the background, to the drums, to whatever, he does his Thang...you've heard songs done by him including cassie, slim from 112, fabolous, kid cudi, jim jones, keri hilson just to name a few......prime example of him making a master piece is this video of him producing his last track on his current album called "gibberish" check this man out see how these hits are made....BANANAS I TELL YOU! WATCH!!!
Making "Gibberish" from Ryan Leslie on Vimeo.
This man is SICKKKK.....YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO OF HIM MAKING ADDICTION.....HE IS INSANE...OMG WATCH THE LINK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ix5dicdL7c
MY COMputer is acting childish so its not allowing me to post other phenomenal video of this man at work....I ENCOURAGE you to go to http://www.vimeo.com/ and search RYAN LESLIE. YOU'RE WELCOME :)....Ive been on this site for hours now... :D
BE SURE NOT TO MISS THE BEST ALBUM PUT OUT IN 2009 ON NOVEMBER 3RD.....RYAN LESLIE'S NEW CD "TRANSITION" HITS THE SHELVES......I FEEL LIKE MY BIRTHDAY IS COMIN UP AGAIN.....LOL R. LES FOR PREZZZ!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
quote of the day
ok....soooo im a blogging freak! this is record for me 3 in 2 days! lol
i just felt that need to share the quote of my day. One of the social workers at my job came up to me this morning. During a conversation about how my life's been, we got into convo about his situation, which just happens to be that his father recently died. He said he felt the need to let me know, not only becuz of his father passing, but becuz of a story he heard this morning about a young girl 30 yrs old with two kids who is gone this morning due to a random shooting/robbery. she actually worked here at the hospital. He said and told me to remember. "Do what you have to do, today, don't wait. you never know when you're number is gonna be up."
I'm sure that lady never thought when she woke up yesterday that by that evening she would be gone. she probably planned a summer vacation. probably started christmas shopping, prolly was preparing to come to work this morning. this is a sad story. But yet, such an eye opener. It's sad but other people's tragedies can become your testimony. This morning, it sent chills thru me for some reason....all I can think about and have been thinking about all morning is "do wha tyou have to do TODAY!
There is so much that i keep telling myself.....in due time, next month, ill do that in the year 20.... I know this quote has probably been told to you a million times before....but im freaked out becuz it hit home so heavy this morning. why? don't know but im takin heed.
SO TODAY i urge you all to tell someone you've been meaning to you love them, call someone you haven't that you keep sayin "ill call them soon", FORGIVE somebody you been having anger/hurt towards, if you can.... do something you've always wanted to do today, face one of your fears today.......whatever you feel like you've put on the back burner....do it TODAY.
life is so short and it's a shame that we don't get to experience it's beauty to its fullest. yo, if it's possible to dwell on your life after you're gone, i don't wanna regret a thing. I intend on doing what i need to do, today
VIEW THIS VIDEO BELOW~~~!!!!!! not only is it one of my favorite artist but short n sweet gets the message across SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT....
i just felt that need to share the quote of my day. One of the social workers at my job came up to me this morning. During a conversation about how my life's been, we got into convo about his situation, which just happens to be that his father recently died. He said he felt the need to let me know, not only becuz of his father passing, but becuz of a story he heard this morning about a young girl 30 yrs old with two kids who is gone this morning due to a random shooting/robbery. she actually worked here at the hospital. He said and told me to remember. "Do what you have to do, today, don't wait. you never know when you're number is gonna be up."
I'm sure that lady never thought when she woke up yesterday that by that evening she would be gone. she probably planned a summer vacation. probably started christmas shopping, prolly was preparing to come to work this morning. this is a sad story. But yet, such an eye opener. It's sad but other people's tragedies can become your testimony. This morning, it sent chills thru me for some reason....all I can think about and have been thinking about all morning is "do wha tyou have to do TODAY!
There is so much that i keep telling myself.....in due time, next month, ill do that in the year 20.... I know this quote has probably been told to you a million times before....but im freaked out becuz it hit home so heavy this morning. why? don't know but im takin heed.
SO TODAY i urge you all to tell someone you've been meaning to you love them, call someone you haven't that you keep sayin "ill call them soon", FORGIVE somebody you been having anger/hurt towards, if you can.... do something you've always wanted to do today, face one of your fears today.......whatever you feel like you've put on the back burner....do it TODAY.
life is so short and it's a shame that we don't get to experience it's beauty to its fullest. yo, if it's possible to dwell on your life after you're gone, i don't wanna regret a thing. I intend on doing what i need to do, today
VIEW THIS VIDEO BELOW~~~!!!!!! not only is it one of my favorite artist but short n sweet gets the message across SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT....
Shouldn't" Have To Wait from Ryan Leslie on
Sunday, October 4, 2009
random soo randdom Questions and Thought
ok so i blogged like 2 hours ago...but my mind is racing like crazy. heres a slight peek into my inner
1. im currently in the process of desensitization
2. just realized im seriously no...hear me again seriously scared of falling for anyone, anything and its a fear for real
3. i feel like im at a stand point in life right now and really want the ball to get rolling
4. i kinda wanna isolate myself to get my thoughts together
5. right now my cell phone is goin bananas (one of my gfs) but i don't feel like answering it
6. im sure my mind relates most peoples words with lies...sad, but it takes sincere conversation to make me believe things and even then some...
7. im too nice and overly underestanding
8. people who are money obsessed make me wanna puke
9. im cool all by myself....but some times,,,just for a second i wish that love would find me, someday? naw im cool unless someone proves me wrong
10. why do people from my past apologizes YEARS later....yup u lose.
11. i miss my sister
12. i need to get in grad school asap
13. i wanna move away from this ratchet city
14. i wish winter were here so i wouldn't feel so lame snuggled on the couch drinking oj and watching lifetime movies lmao
15. i have a new obsession with scarves
16. i need a second job...now, i got bills to pay. its hard out here big dawg
17. i think i have an ocd about making sure the flat iron and iron are out of the plugs before i leave home.
18. i want glasses to complete my intellectual presence
19. i want a tattoo somewhere on my body, a piercing, orrrr i wanna cut my hair. i need change when im stressed.
20. wonders why i feel like i have my license to counsel people and im not gettin paid
21. "whatever,...its whatever" has become my new phrase for this year
22. i will be successful one day
23. glad my mommy is healthy and happy for once in her life
24. lost
25. wants to reverse
26. its my birthday why the f am i blogging about stress....weak stuff. im happy today see---> :) just thoughtful
27. desperately wants to travel to africa one day
28. wonders if i'll be a soccer mom in the future?
29. wishes i knew peoples honest opinion of me
30. referring to 29...im trippin who cares
31. i am a music fanatic i know this, i live this, its ok
32. i really want the new ryan leslie cd when it comes out in like 10 days...(yess)
33. wants to go to the riverfront, throw on a hoodie and do some soul searching
34. hoping i don't sound bitter
35. i have a wall up higher than the great wall of china
36. my girl is callin me and im currently bitchy so im gonna finish this blog first
37. wants to go to a resort and shop and eat and enjoy the air, better yet i wanna go to tahiti, no italy, no i wanna travel the world.
38. i am a creative soul
39. misses my grandma and her voice over the phone on my bday...rip grandma Pas
40. feels overwhelmed right now
41. has faith
42. wants genuine convo right about now....so over filler talk
43. i wish i could save the world. literally
44. i want to be a social worker, its my calling. i know it. im not gonna be a millionaire. but as long as i can take care of the kid life will be good.
45. wants to change my number every other day..s.ad.
46. r-e-s-p-e-c-t
47. everything im not made me everything i am
48. wonders if anyone out there will ever know who i am or better yet care to know besides good ol jesus
49. doesnt wanna go out for a long time or anymore but feels forced due to more bdays comin up
50. i am focused loving and resilient. with these 3 characteristics i can't lose...i might fall but i alwasy recover
51. wants to take a bubble bath and fall asleep until tomorrow
52. im going to do that shortly
53. i do what i want
54. the best things in life are free
55. I love Ava Holmes more than myself and wonder if i'll have more kids in the future...how many...etc....lord only knows....yea i love her shes the best thing on earth.
56. wishes my dad....too much to type
57. i really want a baby g shock
58. ready to let go and let God
59. my eyes are cloudy but i don't cry...im a big girl...im tough. im superwoman..
60. happy birthday to me....
cuz when the money goes and the honeys fade and the dark clouds replace the sunny days.....i know that i'm blessed to see one more year for a reason. i just don't know what that is yet. 2 more hours to celebrate the day i arrive...if i do anything im gonna think about the positive of Jennifer Maria Holmes and the journey up until now....itss NO fairytale...but its my story....today i just feel overcome with memories and the state of my current situations....pardon me bloggers...i had to vent....ok so now seriously t il next time
Jenius
1. im currently in the process of desensitization
2. just realized im seriously no...hear me again seriously scared of falling for anyone, anything and its a fear for real
3. i feel like im at a stand point in life right now and really want the ball to get rolling
4. i kinda wanna isolate myself to get my thoughts together
5. right now my cell phone is goin bananas (one of my gfs) but i don't feel like answering it
6. im sure my mind relates most peoples words with lies...sad, but it takes sincere conversation to make me believe things and even then some...
7. im too nice and overly underestanding
8. people who are money obsessed make me wanna puke
9. im cool all by myself....but some times,,,just for a second i wish that love would find me, someday? naw im cool unless someone proves me wrong
10. why do people from my past apologizes YEARS later....yup u lose.
11. i miss my sister
12. i need to get in grad school asap
13. i wanna move away from this ratchet city
14. i wish winter were here so i wouldn't feel so lame snuggled on the couch drinking oj and watching lifetime movies lmao
15. i have a new obsession with scarves
16. i need a second job...now, i got bills to pay. its hard out here big dawg
17. i think i have an ocd about making sure the flat iron and iron are out of the plugs before i leave home.
18. i want glasses to complete my intellectual presence
19. i want a tattoo somewhere on my body, a piercing, orrrr i wanna cut my hair. i need change when im stressed.
20. wonders why i feel like i have my license to counsel people and im not gettin paid
21. "whatever,...its whatever" has become my new phrase for this year
22. i will be successful one day
23. glad my mommy is healthy and happy for once in her life
24. lost
25. wants to reverse
26. its my birthday why the f am i blogging about stress....weak stuff. im happy today see---> :) just thoughtful
27. desperately wants to travel to africa one day
28. wonders if i'll be a soccer mom in the future?
29. wishes i knew peoples honest opinion of me
30. referring to 29...im trippin who cares
31. i am a music fanatic i know this, i live this, its ok
32. i really want the new ryan leslie cd when it comes out in like 10 days...(yess)
33. wants to go to the riverfront, throw on a hoodie and do some soul searching
34. hoping i don't sound bitter
35. i have a wall up higher than the great wall of china
36. my girl is callin me and im currently bitchy so im gonna finish this blog first
37. wants to go to a resort and shop and eat and enjoy the air, better yet i wanna go to tahiti, no italy, no i wanna travel the world.
38. i am a creative soul
39. misses my grandma and her voice over the phone on my bday...rip grandma Pas
40. feels overwhelmed right now
41. has faith
42. wants genuine convo right about now....so over filler talk
43. i wish i could save the world. literally
44. i want to be a social worker, its my calling. i know it. im not gonna be a millionaire. but as long as i can take care of the kid life will be good.
45. wants to change my number every other day..s.ad.
46. r-e-s-p-e-c-t
47. everything im not made me everything i am
48. wonders if anyone out there will ever know who i am or better yet care to know besides good ol jesus
49. doesnt wanna go out for a long time or anymore but feels forced due to more bdays comin up
50. i am focused loving and resilient. with these 3 characteristics i can't lose...i might fall but i alwasy recover
51. wants to take a bubble bath and fall asleep until tomorrow
52. im going to do that shortly
53. i do what i want
54. the best things in life are free
55. I love Ava Holmes more than myself and wonder if i'll have more kids in the future...how many...etc....lord only knows....yea i love her shes the best thing on earth.
56. wishes my dad....too much to type
57. i really want a baby g shock
58. ready to let go and let God
59. my eyes are cloudy but i don't cry...im a big girl...im tough. im superwoman..
60. happy birthday to me....
cuz when the money goes and the honeys fade and the dark clouds replace the sunny days.....i know that i'm blessed to see one more year for a reason. i just don't know what that is yet. 2 more hours to celebrate the day i arrive...if i do anything im gonna think about the positive of Jennifer Maria Holmes and the journey up until now....itss NO fairytale...but its my story....today i just feel overcome with memories and the state of my current situations....pardon me bloggers...i had to vent....ok so now seriously t il next time
Jenius
10/4/85
hApPY BiRtHdAy To meEeeEeEeeEeEeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Between my down tIME after a fun filled weekend with friends, family, loved ones etc whateva u wanna be called lol....i felt the need to blog on this day.....24 years ago around 3:30pm a star was born.....its crazy thinkin about how time flies by soo fast. it was just yesterday when i remember in highschool sittin on the porch talkin with my friends like "man when im 24-25 im gonna do this, i should have this, i want this" To this very day, i can honestly say that I've accomplished many of the things that I said i wanted to do by now. However theres alot that i had assumed would be done by now have not. I just trust and believe that if those things are meant to come for me, they will. Some things got out of order and some things i dreamt of got completely deleted from my path. Most for the good i would say..just becuz im a firm believer that everyting that happens is a life lesson.
This weekend has really allowed me to evaluate my circle of people that have my back. It feels good to know that there are people besides the obvious (my famo) that genuinely care about me. I'm so grateful for the little things, all my friends that took time to chill with me, the gifts, the cards, the texts, the hugs, the calls, etc.....those things the simple things mean the most to me. I know that sounds like im trying to portray myself as being "super humble" but its seriously who i am. It doesn't take much to make me feel good inside....I'm so blessed and thankful for everyone i refer to as a friend.
Today for some reason i feel a little "growner" lol dont ask but i feel like im really starting to embrace my womanhood. I know what I want out of life, I know how i want it to happen, I know how to get it and I won't settle. my Babe Lupe fiasco created my motto from this 24th year of my life forward " life, aint meant to come around twice, thats why i gotta get it right, they say i got it honest now i gotta give it life, now sleep on it, thats why god give you night..." it's true life comes once so i have to go hard or go home...for some reason i feel like it's game time. By the time I"m 28 years old....this blog on 10/4/13 will be full of accomplishments and new goals new editions to my life circle, etc...until then...lets' get it!
signing off until next time....
jenius
Between my down tIME after a fun filled weekend with friends, family, loved ones etc whateva u wanna be called lol....i felt the need to blog on this day.....24 years ago around 3:30pm a star was born.....its crazy thinkin about how time flies by soo fast. it was just yesterday when i remember in highschool sittin on the porch talkin with my friends like "man when im 24-25 im gonna do this, i should have this, i want this" To this very day, i can honestly say that I've accomplished many of the things that I said i wanted to do by now. However theres alot that i had assumed would be done by now have not. I just trust and believe that if those things are meant to come for me, they will. Some things got out of order and some things i dreamt of got completely deleted from my path. Most for the good i would say..just becuz im a firm believer that everyting that happens is a life lesson.
This weekend has really allowed me to evaluate my circle of people that have my back. It feels good to know that there are people besides the obvious (my famo) that genuinely care about me. I'm so grateful for the little things, all my friends that took time to chill with me, the gifts, the cards, the texts, the hugs, the calls, etc.....those things the simple things mean the most to me. I know that sounds like im trying to portray myself as being "super humble" but its seriously who i am. It doesn't take much to make me feel good inside....I'm so blessed and thankful for everyone i refer to as a friend.
Today for some reason i feel a little "growner" lol dont ask but i feel like im really starting to embrace my womanhood. I know what I want out of life, I know how i want it to happen, I know how to get it and I won't settle. my Babe Lupe fiasco created my motto from this 24th year of my life forward " life, aint meant to come around twice, thats why i gotta get it right, they say i got it honest now i gotta give it life, now sleep on it, thats why god give you night..." it's true life comes once so i have to go hard or go home...for some reason i feel like it's game time. By the time I"m 28 years old....this blog on 10/4/13 will be full of accomplishments and new goals new editions to my life circle, etc...until then...lets' get it!
signing off until next time....
jenius
Monday, September 7, 2009
Strength, Courage and Wisdom
The title of this blog pretains to what i intend on touching on. These three things are essential yet such hard things to come by. I feel provoked to write this blog due to numerous conversations with many beautiful (inside and out) ladies that have come to me weary about situations concerning their emotional/relationship life. I think there are alot of things that need to be found out about one self before involving yourself with another being. I try to be a blessing to others by sharing my own stories. In hopes that maybe this will shed light on their own situation and then after show them that bad relationships/emotional hurt goes away and can be overcome after seeing or hearing about how far i've come from my own hum bug situations lol.
It hurts me to see ladies who define themselves only with the presence of a man. Its true and biblical that we were not meant to be alone, hence God creating Eve.....
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be all alone." (Genesis 2:18)
"So The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs [also translated took part of the man's side] and closed up the place with flesh. Then The Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:21-24)
However, it is not biblical to say that you should make your days and journey about finding "mr. right" This can be detrimental to some who haven't really discovered who they are and in the mean time are looking for someone to fill the void they possess. What they fail to realize is even if they happen to stumble upon Mr. Right she'll still be Mrs. Wrong. I remember back in the day when the RuPaul show (thats right i watched it LOL) used to come on when i was about 10 or 11 years old. The one thing i can always remember her/him saying at the end of the program was "if you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" SO TRUE! think about it,, i don't know about anybody else but i want somebody who cares for themselves already, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically etc. Who wants to be a house, car or new pair of pants that they can't go home and enjoy/wear but have to repair first??????!!!! I'm a true believer that a relationship should encompass two whole individuals. I better like to state that as saying "look for someone to compliment you not a supplement" For example....we have a girl who is the typical serial dater (never known this chick to be wit out a man) who involves herself in a serious relationship. She then begins to identify herself as "chicos girl, debos woman" whateva. Debo leaves her high and dry couple years later....and her brain is still stuck in how to survive without her male companion. She had no idea who she was before him and DEFINATELY doesn't know after. So she's now left to start from scratch. Not only does she have to find her OWN strength without him to repair her heart but now she has to navigate the things she should repair about herself to jump start her into being the woman that God created her to be.
It is IMPERATIVE' that people have "me" time. Until you understand what it is to be happy and giddy just with "me, myself and I" then how will you be able to fully enjoy the company of someone else???. I might not know all the secrets but from my point of view, a man that exhibits confidence and stability by his lonesome is SUPPPPERRR ATTRACTIVE. i assume on the male end this would be the same. I know if i was a man i wouldn't want some woman with baggage and no self identity. You think Barack married Michelle because she was on his jock with no self confidence or identity. No, actually if you ask me Barack got with michelle because of her strength, independence, integrity, because of her intelligence, and from the beauty she exuded from these characteristics. Same goes for Coretta Scott King, Jackie O....just to name a few.
'bEHIND every strong man is a strong woman"
Look at the Proverbs 31 woman.....to sum it up she was what we call "that deal" lol and her hubby was also a go getter ...Proverbs 31:23 "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land" thats right. while she held down the house, the kids, was honored by her husband, was a business woman, was a steward, upheld the definition of what a woman should be "price far beyond rubies" her sweetie was gettin it done and noble among others. i doubt this dude woulda been half the man with out ms Proverbs 31 :)
like the bible scripture i quote earlier about eve coming out of the mans rib and being made so that Adam didn't have to be alone. That is what I believe God made us for. To be companions and to provide love to our mate...but also to be strength. I don't think we woman realize how strong we are sometimes....i mean as quoted we were made from the man to be "bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh" although we may not be identically equal in physical strength The lord gave us a different type of phenomenal strength. Question is do you know how strong you are?
The answer to that question can not be answered without you taking a look back at the things you have endured/conquered and using them as a reminder for what you are capable of overcoming. Thats the first step. Dont look back and beat yourself up about situations that you have experienced better yet,,,,,TAKE NOTES. there is not testimony without a test. Whether you feel as though you made a stupid choice or the best one. lEARN FROM IT! that is the only way to gain WISDOM. and to do that it takes COURAGE. it takes courage to be able to examine your life situations and choices dead in the face and take them for what they were but u have to do it. in life like one of my favorite songs by Mary Mary goes "you need a little dirt to grow"
Basically what im trying to say is first things first.....Love YOU. focus on you, what you are capable of doing, what you aspire to do, and what you would like to do for others. Instead of sulking about your loneliness take that time for self-evaluation. The right man will come along in due time....BUT just like you want a WHOLE MAN don't short him and not be all together yourself. "THE right man at the wrong time is even worst then the Wrong man at anytime" Above all pRay for discernment because we all know how the heart works it has a MIND OF ITS OWN!!!! aahhhhhh!!! LOL proverbs 4:23 says "guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." What does this mean...it means that the heart just loves to love especially when you choose to walk with Jesus...HOWEVER....guarding you heart to me just simply means consulting with Him before trusting your own instincts and he will lead you on the path to follow. TRY HIM he works. I hate to sound like i'm preaching because He's still working on me.......i just know that i could go on and on about situations that i NEVERRRRRR thought in a million years my heart would be repaired over. BUT i know the only way i ever gained the STRENGTH. COURAGE. & WISDOM. I have today...is with assistance from Him....
IN CONCLUSION....quit POLLUTING your heart with unfruitful relationships and wait for the one that was meant for you to have and by all means until they come use discretion and use HIM. GET WITH YOURSELF ONE ON ONE AND BE ALL U CAN BE!!!! so that you can be a prize for someonelse capable of being the same to you.
signing off until next time....
jenius
*remember to love*
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Welcome to the world of Jenius
Hello world!
I'm here for your viewing pleasure and mind entertainment. The name is Jenius errr (genius, for the slow who didn't know). Better known as Jenius-the prototype. Lets break this down kiddos. Jenius is clearly the kid, jen lol prototype clearly refers to the description of my existence. Webster's dictionary describes the prototype as follows...
1 : an original model on which something is patterned : archetype
2 : an individual that exhibits the essential features of a later type
3 : a standard or typical example
4 : a first full-scale and usually functional form of a new type or design of a construction (as an airplane)
This embodies my character in so little words.....sorta like a metaphor, im hard to get. You're probably confused as we speak lol....but enough with the small stuff on to the intro blog. About ur girl
23 wise beyond my years, but so eager to learn more than i think i know....Ive been through the fire and the flame but i also created the extinguisher and learned from my burns. I'm a proud single mommy of a what i like to call my WORLD to the BEAUTIFUL= Ava Monet :) Recent college grad with dreams of shooting higher and i won't stop until i get where i want to be. I'm motivated by her existence but also just from my drive to live life to the fullest....like our good dude JOHN F. KENNEDY said " There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not? This applies to my entire life in all aspects....Why is it so impossible to have everything you ever wanted and then some...why settle when we were all made for greatness...i don't want the world but i want what i define as happiness which everyone has their own personal definition.....but it's also said "to whom much is given, much is expected." so in lamens terms you work hard, you get to play harder. Life seems like an endless highway from where i'm standing and somedays there are bumps and turns and fog that blur my vision....but i know it'll all be worth while when i reach my final destination. For now i'll just take day by day.....even if i run outta gas..ill keep pushin lol.
Don't take life too seriously, really :) Think of your life as if it were a movie...when u look back at it...make sure it's worth watching!
Until next time..remember to love.
I'm here for your viewing pleasure and mind entertainment. The name is Jenius errr (genius, for the slow who didn't know). Better known as Jenius-the prototype. Lets break this down kiddos. Jenius is clearly the kid, jen lol prototype clearly refers to the description of my existence. Webster's dictionary describes the prototype as follows...
1 : an original model on which something is patterned : archetype
2 : an individual that exhibits the essential features of a later type
3 : a standard or typical example
4 : a first full-scale and usually functional form of a new type or design of a construction (as an airplane)
This embodies my character in so little words.....sorta like a metaphor, im hard to get. You're probably confused as we speak lol....but enough with the small stuff on to the intro blog. About ur girl
23 wise beyond my years, but so eager to learn more than i think i know....Ive been through the fire and the flame but i also created the extinguisher and learned from my burns. I'm a proud single mommy of a what i like to call my WORLD to the BEAUTIFUL= Ava Monet :) Recent college grad with dreams of shooting higher and i won't stop until i get where i want to be. I'm motivated by her existence but also just from my drive to live life to the fullest....like our good dude JOHN F. KENNEDY said " There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not? This applies to my entire life in all aspects....Why is it so impossible to have everything you ever wanted and then some...why settle when we were all made for greatness...i don't want the world but i want what i define as happiness which everyone has their own personal definition.....but it's also said "to whom much is given, much is expected." so in lamens terms you work hard, you get to play harder. Life seems like an endless highway from where i'm standing and somedays there are bumps and turns and fog that blur my vision....but i know it'll all be worth while when i reach my final destination. For now i'll just take day by day.....even if i run outta gas..ill keep pushin lol.
Don't take life too seriously, really :) Think of your life as if it were a movie...when u look back at it...make sure it's worth watching!
Until next time..remember to love.
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