ok so i blogged like 2 hours ago...but my mind is racing like crazy. heres a slight peek into my inner
1. im currently in the process of desensitization
2. just realized im seriously no...hear me again seriously scared of falling for anyone, anything and its a fear for real
3. i feel like im at a stand point in life right now and really want the ball to get rolling
4. i kinda wanna isolate myself to get my thoughts together
5. right now my cell phone is goin bananas (one of my gfs) but i don't feel like answering it
6. im sure my mind relates most peoples words with lies...sad, but it takes sincere conversation to make me believe things and even then some...
7. im too nice and overly underestanding
8. people who are money obsessed make me wanna puke
9. im cool all by myself....but some times,,,just for a second i wish that love would find me, someday? naw im cool unless someone proves me wrong
10. why do people from my past apologizes YEARS later....yup u lose.
11. i miss my sister
12. i need to get in grad school asap
13. i wanna move away from this ratchet city
14. i wish winter were here so i wouldn't feel so lame snuggled on the couch drinking oj and watching lifetime movies lmao
15. i have a new obsession with scarves
16. i need a second job...now, i got bills to pay. its hard out here big dawg
17. i think i have an ocd about making sure the flat iron and iron are out of the plugs before i leave home.
18. i want glasses to complete my intellectual presence
19. i want a tattoo somewhere on my body, a piercing, orrrr i wanna cut my hair. i need change when im stressed.
20. wonders why i feel like i have my license to counsel people and im not gettin paid
21. "whatever,...its whatever" has become my new phrase for this year
22. i will be successful one day
23. glad my mommy is healthy and happy for once in her life
24. lost
25. wants to reverse
26. its my birthday why the f am i blogging about stress....weak stuff. im happy today see---> :) just thoughtful
27. desperately wants to travel to africa one day
28. wonders if i'll be a soccer mom in the future?
29. wishes i knew peoples honest opinion of me
30. referring to 29...im trippin who cares
31. i am a music fanatic i know this, i live this, its ok
32. i really want the new ryan leslie cd when it comes out in like 10 days...(yess)
33. wants to go to the riverfront, throw on a hoodie and do some soul searching
34. hoping i don't sound bitter
35. i have a wall up higher than the great wall of china
36. my girl is callin me and im currently bitchy so im gonna finish this blog first
37. wants to go to a resort and shop and eat and enjoy the air, better yet i wanna go to tahiti, no italy, no i wanna travel the world.
38. i am a creative soul
39. misses my grandma and her voice over the phone on my bday...rip grandma Pas
40. feels overwhelmed right now
41. has faith
42. wants genuine convo right about now....so over filler talk
43. i wish i could save the world. literally
44. i want to be a social worker, its my calling. i know it. im not gonna be a millionaire. but as long as i can take care of the kid life will be good.
45. wants to change my number every other day..s.ad.
46. r-e-s-p-e-c-t
47. everything im not made me everything i am
48. wonders if anyone out there will ever know who i am or better yet care to know besides good ol jesus
49. doesnt wanna go out for a long time or anymore but feels forced due to more bdays comin up
50. i am focused loving and resilient. with these 3 characteristics i can't lose...i might fall but i alwasy recover
51. wants to take a bubble bath and fall asleep until tomorrow
52. im going to do that shortly
53. i do what i want
54. the best things in life are free
55. I love Ava Holmes more than myself and wonder if i'll have more kids in the future...how many...etc....lord only knows....yea i love her shes the best thing on earth.
56. wishes my dad....too much to type
57. i really want a baby g shock
58. ready to let go and let God
59. my eyes are cloudy but i don't cry...im a big girl...im tough. im superwoman..
60. happy birthday to me....
cuz when the money goes and the honeys fade and the dark clouds replace the sunny days.....i know that i'm blessed to see one more year for a reason. i just don't know what that is yet. 2 more hours to celebrate the day i arrive...if i do anything im gonna think about the positive of Jennifer Maria Holmes and the journey up until now....itss NO fairytale...but its my story....today i just feel overcome with memories and the state of my current situations....pardon me bloggers...i had to vent....ok so now seriously t il next time
Jenius
