I left this untitled for a reason. Wrote it in 6 minutes record time lol just me being bored and feelin artistic. not my best poetry session but....whatev here we go.
she keeps walking past me and i never noticed her grace
never knew how much she meant to me until i was faced
with the fact, that she was leavin me....
how could it be,
i forgot to take a minute and remember that she
had been there since day one, forever by my side
well sorta until my number came up then she said she would ride....
im missin her, but it seems like the more that i i do
im diggin a bigger hole for myself so its best to keep movin
she told me i would miss her when she left me,
i laughed!
but now im crazy like
who was i foolin?
i gotta get her back
but it's a fact that she's gone forever with no return
waited too long, she said it's best to let our past burn...
BUT
she said it's a little hope in the future...
in the next couple days months years its promise left for me to seize her
hope i please her
so i can by back some of her preciousness
im tryin
Stopped and asked her what her name was and she replied......
TIME.
jenius
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I just wanna be successful.....
in the mood to write poetry....comes once a month lol....wanna hear it...here it go.lol
weary minds, perpetuate false melodies to life's song
i choose to whistle positivity my days long
wise minds know that sky's the limit
and as long as your eyes stare in one direction
you guaranteed to win it
yup its dream killas, and swag stealers and "negative nancys"
say to these posers its cool "i get it how i fancy"
"you can have whatever you like" is what they say to me
i decline and tell em my ego refuses, but i can upgrade U like my diva B
im choosin to turn my fantasies into realities
cuz real eyes recognize, a dream aint nothin but a lie
to those who used to be blind but now see
meaning... they found there were no obstacles that lay down before them
"success is just a state of mind", but to those without determination, words seem foreign
my granddaddy told me "you can be ANYTHING you wanna be"
well Gpa... i know you starin down and im gone make you proud of me
my people came toO far for me to stop where im standin
My president is Black?!?!?!?!, aww naw OK! i got the message no time for meanderin
to whom much is given much is expected
so i know what im about to embark on soon is predicted to be hectic
final words to the audience of minds i just explored
please don't think this is cockiness....its confidence...believe me im sure! ;)
Just take notes and remember just don't give up
yup im done with this let me move on.. let me let up
somebody beam me up
im on another level, so be easy..i got my head up :)
Jenius
weary minds, perpetuate false melodies to life's song
i choose to whistle positivity my days long
wise minds know that sky's the limit
and as long as your eyes stare in one direction
you guaranteed to win it
yup its dream killas, and swag stealers and "negative nancys"
say to these posers its cool "i get it how i fancy"
"you can have whatever you like" is what they say to me
i decline and tell em my ego refuses, but i can upgrade U like my diva B
im choosin to turn my fantasies into realities
cuz real eyes recognize, a dream aint nothin but a lie
to those who used to be blind but now see
meaning... they found there were no obstacles that lay down before them
"success is just a state of mind", but to those without determination, words seem foreign
my granddaddy told me "you can be ANYTHING you wanna be"
well Gpa... i know you starin down and im gone make you proud of me
my people came toO far for me to stop where im standin
My president is Black?!?!?!?!, aww naw OK! i got the message no time for meanderin
to whom much is given much is expected
so i know what im about to embark on soon is predicted to be hectic
final words to the audience of minds i just explored
please don't think this is cockiness....its confidence...believe me im sure! ;)
Just take notes and remember just don't give up
yup im done with this let me move on.. let me let up
somebody beam me up
im on another level, so be easy..i got my head up :)
Jenius
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
R. LES FOR PREZ!!!!!!!
yOU ARE fast asleep if you do NOT know who RYAN LESLIE is...or his label NEXT SELECTION....he's a writer, producer, musician, vocalist, business man, Harvard University graduate, the man even has a dope freestyle umm etc. etc.! lol i respect his work so much because EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ON HIS SONGS IS ALL HIM, From the little trumpet in the background, to the drums, to whatever, he does his Thang...you've heard songs done by him including cassie, slim from 112, fabolous, kid cudi, jim jones, keri hilson just to name a few......prime example of him making a master piece is this video of him producing his last track on his current album called "gibberish" check this man out see how these hits are made....BANANAS I TELL YOU! WATCH!!!
Making "Gibberish" from Ryan Leslie on Vimeo.
This man is SICKKKK.....YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO OF HIM MAKING ADDICTION.....HE IS INSANE...OMG WATCH THE LINK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ix5dicdL7c
MY COMputer is acting childish so its not allowing me to post other phenomenal video of this man at work....I ENCOURAGE you to go to http://www.vimeo.com/ and search RYAN LESLIE. YOU'RE WELCOME :)....Ive been on this site for hours now... :D
BE SURE NOT TO MISS THE BEST ALBUM PUT OUT IN 2009 ON NOVEMBER 3RD.....RYAN LESLIE'S NEW CD "TRANSITION" HITS THE SHELVES......I FEEL LIKE MY BIRTHDAY IS COMIN UP AGAIN.....LOL R. LES FOR PREZZZ!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
quote of the day
ok....soooo im a blogging freak! this is record for me 3 in 2 days! lol
i just felt that need to share the quote of my day. One of the social workers at my job came up to me this morning. During a conversation about how my life's been, we got into convo about his situation, which just happens to be that his father recently died. He said he felt the need to let me know, not only becuz of his father passing, but becuz of a story he heard this morning about a young girl 30 yrs old with two kids who is gone this morning due to a random shooting/robbery. she actually worked here at the hospital. He said and told me to remember. "Do what you have to do, today, don't wait. you never know when you're number is gonna be up."
I'm sure that lady never thought when she woke up yesterday that by that evening she would be gone. she probably planned a summer vacation. probably started christmas shopping, prolly was preparing to come to work this morning. this is a sad story. But yet, such an eye opener. It's sad but other people's tragedies can become your testimony. This morning, it sent chills thru me for some reason....all I can think about and have been thinking about all morning is "do wha tyou have to do TODAY!
There is so much that i keep telling myself.....in due time, next month, ill do that in the year 20.... I know this quote has probably been told to you a million times before....but im freaked out becuz it hit home so heavy this morning. why? don't know but im takin heed.
SO TODAY i urge you all to tell someone you've been meaning to you love them, call someone you haven't that you keep sayin "ill call them soon", FORGIVE somebody you been having anger/hurt towards, if you can.... do something you've always wanted to do today, face one of your fears today.......whatever you feel like you've put on the back burner....do it TODAY.
life is so short and it's a shame that we don't get to experience it's beauty to its fullest. yo, if it's possible to dwell on your life after you're gone, i don't wanna regret a thing. I intend on doing what i need to do, today
VIEW THIS VIDEO BELOW~~~!!!!!! not only is it one of my favorite artist but short n sweet gets the message across SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT....
i just felt that need to share the quote of my day. One of the social workers at my job came up to me this morning. During a conversation about how my life's been, we got into convo about his situation, which just happens to be that his father recently died. He said he felt the need to let me know, not only becuz of his father passing, but becuz of a story he heard this morning about a young girl 30 yrs old with two kids who is gone this morning due to a random shooting/robbery. she actually worked here at the hospital. He said and told me to remember. "Do what you have to do, today, don't wait. you never know when you're number is gonna be up."
I'm sure that lady never thought when she woke up yesterday that by that evening she would be gone. she probably planned a summer vacation. probably started christmas shopping, prolly was preparing to come to work this morning. this is a sad story. But yet, such an eye opener. It's sad but other people's tragedies can become your testimony. This morning, it sent chills thru me for some reason....all I can think about and have been thinking about all morning is "do wha tyou have to do TODAY!
There is so much that i keep telling myself.....in due time, next month, ill do that in the year 20.... I know this quote has probably been told to you a million times before....but im freaked out becuz it hit home so heavy this morning. why? don't know but im takin heed.
SO TODAY i urge you all to tell someone you've been meaning to you love them, call someone you haven't that you keep sayin "ill call them soon", FORGIVE somebody you been having anger/hurt towards, if you can.... do something you've always wanted to do today, face one of your fears today.......whatever you feel like you've put on the back burner....do it TODAY.
life is so short and it's a shame that we don't get to experience it's beauty to its fullest. yo, if it's possible to dwell on your life after you're gone, i don't wanna regret a thing. I intend on doing what i need to do, today
VIEW THIS VIDEO BELOW~~~!!!!!! not only is it one of my favorite artist but short n sweet gets the message across SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT....
Shouldn't" Have To Wait from Ryan Leslie on
Sunday, October 4, 2009
random soo randdom Questions and Thought
ok so i blogged like 2 hours ago...but my mind is racing like crazy. heres a slight peek into my inner
1. im currently in the process of desensitization
2. just realized im seriously no...hear me again seriously scared of falling for anyone, anything and its a fear for real
3. i feel like im at a stand point in life right now and really want the ball to get rolling
4. i kinda wanna isolate myself to get my thoughts together
5. right now my cell phone is goin bananas (one of my gfs) but i don't feel like answering it
6. im sure my mind relates most peoples words with lies...sad, but it takes sincere conversation to make me believe things and even then some...
7. im too nice and overly underestanding
8. people who are money obsessed make me wanna puke
9. im cool all by myself....but some times,,,just for a second i wish that love would find me, someday? naw im cool unless someone proves me wrong
10. why do people from my past apologizes YEARS later....yup u lose.
11. i miss my sister
12. i need to get in grad school asap
13. i wanna move away from this ratchet city
14. i wish winter were here so i wouldn't feel so lame snuggled on the couch drinking oj and watching lifetime movies lmao
15. i have a new obsession with scarves
16. i need a second job...now, i got bills to pay. its hard out here big dawg
17. i think i have an ocd about making sure the flat iron and iron are out of the plugs before i leave home.
18. i want glasses to complete my intellectual presence
19. i want a tattoo somewhere on my body, a piercing, orrrr i wanna cut my hair. i need change when im stressed.
20. wonders why i feel like i have my license to counsel people and im not gettin paid
21. "whatever,...its whatever" has become my new phrase for this year
22. i will be successful one day
23. glad my mommy is healthy and happy for once in her life
24. lost
25. wants to reverse
26. its my birthday why the f am i blogging about stress....weak stuff. im happy today see---> :) just thoughtful
27. desperately wants to travel to africa one day
28. wonders if i'll be a soccer mom in the future?
29. wishes i knew peoples honest opinion of me
30. referring to 29...im trippin who cares
31. i am a music fanatic i know this, i live this, its ok
32. i really want the new ryan leslie cd when it comes out in like 10 days...(yess)
33. wants to go to the riverfront, throw on a hoodie and do some soul searching
34. hoping i don't sound bitter
35. i have a wall up higher than the great wall of china
36. my girl is callin me and im currently bitchy so im gonna finish this blog first
37. wants to go to a resort and shop and eat and enjoy the air, better yet i wanna go to tahiti, no italy, no i wanna travel the world.
38. i am a creative soul
39. misses my grandma and her voice over the phone on my bday...rip grandma Pas
40. feels overwhelmed right now
41. has faith
42. wants genuine convo right about now....so over filler talk
43. i wish i could save the world. literally
44. i want to be a social worker, its my calling. i know it. im not gonna be a millionaire. but as long as i can take care of the kid life will be good.
45. wants to change my number every other day..s.ad.
46. r-e-s-p-e-c-t
47. everything im not made me everything i am
48. wonders if anyone out there will ever know who i am or better yet care to know besides good ol jesus
49. doesnt wanna go out for a long time or anymore but feels forced due to more bdays comin up
50. i am focused loving and resilient. with these 3 characteristics i can't lose...i might fall but i alwasy recover
51. wants to take a bubble bath and fall asleep until tomorrow
52. im going to do that shortly
53. i do what i want
54. the best things in life are free
55. I love Ava Holmes more than myself and wonder if i'll have more kids in the future...how many...etc....lord only knows....yea i love her shes the best thing on earth.
56. wishes my dad....too much to type
57. i really want a baby g shock
58. ready to let go and let God
59. my eyes are cloudy but i don't cry...im a big girl...im tough. im superwoman..
60. happy birthday to me....
cuz when the money goes and the honeys fade and the dark clouds replace the sunny days.....i know that i'm blessed to see one more year for a reason. i just don't know what that is yet. 2 more hours to celebrate the day i arrive...if i do anything im gonna think about the positive of Jennifer Maria Holmes and the journey up until now....itss NO fairytale...but its my story....today i just feel overcome with memories and the state of my current situations....pardon me bloggers...i had to vent....ok so now seriously t il next time
Jenius
1. im currently in the process of desensitization
2. just realized im seriously no...hear me again seriously scared of falling for anyone, anything and its a fear for real
3. i feel like im at a stand point in life right now and really want the ball to get rolling
4. i kinda wanna isolate myself to get my thoughts together
5. right now my cell phone is goin bananas (one of my gfs) but i don't feel like answering it
6. im sure my mind relates most peoples words with lies...sad, but it takes sincere conversation to make me believe things and even then some...
7. im too nice and overly underestanding
8. people who are money obsessed make me wanna puke
9. im cool all by myself....but some times,,,just for a second i wish that love would find me, someday? naw im cool unless someone proves me wrong
10. why do people from my past apologizes YEARS later....yup u lose.
11. i miss my sister
12. i need to get in grad school asap
13. i wanna move away from this ratchet city
14. i wish winter were here so i wouldn't feel so lame snuggled on the couch drinking oj and watching lifetime movies lmao
15. i have a new obsession with scarves
16. i need a second job...now, i got bills to pay. its hard out here big dawg
17. i think i have an ocd about making sure the flat iron and iron are out of the plugs before i leave home.
18. i want glasses to complete my intellectual presence
19. i want a tattoo somewhere on my body, a piercing, orrrr i wanna cut my hair. i need change when im stressed.
20. wonders why i feel like i have my license to counsel people and im not gettin paid
21. "whatever,...its whatever" has become my new phrase for this year
22. i will be successful one day
23. glad my mommy is healthy and happy for once in her life
24. lost
25. wants to reverse
26. its my birthday why the f am i blogging about stress....weak stuff. im happy today see---> :) just thoughtful
27. desperately wants to travel to africa one day
28. wonders if i'll be a soccer mom in the future?
29. wishes i knew peoples honest opinion of me
30. referring to 29...im trippin who cares
31. i am a music fanatic i know this, i live this, its ok
32. i really want the new ryan leslie cd when it comes out in like 10 days...(yess)
33. wants to go to the riverfront, throw on a hoodie and do some soul searching
34. hoping i don't sound bitter
35. i have a wall up higher than the great wall of china
36. my girl is callin me and im currently bitchy so im gonna finish this blog first
37. wants to go to a resort and shop and eat and enjoy the air, better yet i wanna go to tahiti, no italy, no i wanna travel the world.
38. i am a creative soul
39. misses my grandma and her voice over the phone on my bday...rip grandma Pas
40. feels overwhelmed right now
41. has faith
42. wants genuine convo right about now....so over filler talk
43. i wish i could save the world. literally
44. i want to be a social worker, its my calling. i know it. im not gonna be a millionaire. but as long as i can take care of the kid life will be good.
45. wants to change my number every other day..s.ad.
46. r-e-s-p-e-c-t
47. everything im not made me everything i am
48. wonders if anyone out there will ever know who i am or better yet care to know besides good ol jesus
49. doesnt wanna go out for a long time or anymore but feels forced due to more bdays comin up
50. i am focused loving and resilient. with these 3 characteristics i can't lose...i might fall but i alwasy recover
51. wants to take a bubble bath and fall asleep until tomorrow
52. im going to do that shortly
53. i do what i want
54. the best things in life are free
55. I love Ava Holmes more than myself and wonder if i'll have more kids in the future...how many...etc....lord only knows....yea i love her shes the best thing on earth.
56. wishes my dad....too much to type
57. i really want a baby g shock
58. ready to let go and let God
59. my eyes are cloudy but i don't cry...im a big girl...im tough. im superwoman..
60. happy birthday to me....
cuz when the money goes and the honeys fade and the dark clouds replace the sunny days.....i know that i'm blessed to see one more year for a reason. i just don't know what that is yet. 2 more hours to celebrate the day i arrive...if i do anything im gonna think about the positive of Jennifer Maria Holmes and the journey up until now....itss NO fairytale...but its my story....today i just feel overcome with memories and the state of my current situations....pardon me bloggers...i had to vent....ok so now seriously t il next time
Jenius
10/4/85
hApPY BiRtHdAy To meEeeEeEeeEeEeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Between my down tIME after a fun filled weekend with friends, family, loved ones etc whateva u wanna be called lol....i felt the need to blog on this day.....24 years ago around 3:30pm a star was born.....its crazy thinkin about how time flies by soo fast. it was just yesterday when i remember in highschool sittin on the porch talkin with my friends like "man when im 24-25 im gonna do this, i should have this, i want this" To this very day, i can honestly say that I've accomplished many of the things that I said i wanted to do by now. However theres alot that i had assumed would be done by now have not. I just trust and believe that if those things are meant to come for me, they will. Some things got out of order and some things i dreamt of got completely deleted from my path. Most for the good i would say..just becuz im a firm believer that everyting that happens is a life lesson.
This weekend has really allowed me to evaluate my circle of people that have my back. It feels good to know that there are people besides the obvious (my famo) that genuinely care about me. I'm so grateful for the little things, all my friends that took time to chill with me, the gifts, the cards, the texts, the hugs, the calls, etc.....those things the simple things mean the most to me. I know that sounds like im trying to portray myself as being "super humble" but its seriously who i am. It doesn't take much to make me feel good inside....I'm so blessed and thankful for everyone i refer to as a friend.
Today for some reason i feel a little "growner" lol dont ask but i feel like im really starting to embrace my womanhood. I know what I want out of life, I know how i want it to happen, I know how to get it and I won't settle. my Babe Lupe fiasco created my motto from this 24th year of my life forward " life, aint meant to come around twice, thats why i gotta get it right, they say i got it honest now i gotta give it life, now sleep on it, thats why god give you night..." it's true life comes once so i have to go hard or go home...for some reason i feel like it's game time. By the time I"m 28 years old....this blog on 10/4/13 will be full of accomplishments and new goals new editions to my life circle, etc...until then...lets' get it!
signing off until next time....
jenius
Between my down tIME after a fun filled weekend with friends, family, loved ones etc whateva u wanna be called lol....i felt the need to blog on this day.....24 years ago around 3:30pm a star was born.....its crazy thinkin about how time flies by soo fast. it was just yesterday when i remember in highschool sittin on the porch talkin with my friends like "man when im 24-25 im gonna do this, i should have this, i want this" To this very day, i can honestly say that I've accomplished many of the things that I said i wanted to do by now. However theres alot that i had assumed would be done by now have not. I just trust and believe that if those things are meant to come for me, they will. Some things got out of order and some things i dreamt of got completely deleted from my path. Most for the good i would say..just becuz im a firm believer that everyting that happens is a life lesson.
This weekend has really allowed me to evaluate my circle of people that have my back. It feels good to know that there are people besides the obvious (my famo) that genuinely care about me. I'm so grateful for the little things, all my friends that took time to chill with me, the gifts, the cards, the texts, the hugs, the calls, etc.....those things the simple things mean the most to me. I know that sounds like im trying to portray myself as being "super humble" but its seriously who i am. It doesn't take much to make me feel good inside....I'm so blessed and thankful for everyone i refer to as a friend.
Today for some reason i feel a little "growner" lol dont ask but i feel like im really starting to embrace my womanhood. I know what I want out of life, I know how i want it to happen, I know how to get it and I won't settle. my Babe Lupe fiasco created my motto from this 24th year of my life forward " life, aint meant to come around twice, thats why i gotta get it right, they say i got it honest now i gotta give it life, now sleep on it, thats why god give you night..." it's true life comes once so i have to go hard or go home...for some reason i feel like it's game time. By the time I"m 28 years old....this blog on 10/4/13 will be full of accomplishments and new goals new editions to my life circle, etc...until then...lets' get it!
signing off until next time....
jenius
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