Beautiful Suprise

It's been a long time since ive put anything on here! i completely forgot i had a blogspot lol....but here i am with thoughts to get off my chest.....

2010 has truly been a year of many suprises, i randomly meet the dopest hip hop artist of all time Lupe Fiasco=EPIC. after struggling for a year and a half to get my grad school situation right i get in and then get offered an opportunity for employment with the school which is paying my insanely high tuition that I had NO IDEA how i was gonna pay, my fam is healthy, my friends are great, and most importantly i let some negative weak people out of my circle and it feels AMAZING!

However, i fail to mention the most beautiful surprise of my life....my new love. I swear I always had this image and description in my head of what love feels like. It was crazy how it started, when i met him im like he's totally geeky, but he's got the BEST manners, and this lil cat comes to work CLEAN everyday lol. Needless to say, due to his outgoing, genuine personality and smile (damn those dimples) we randomly ended up spending countless hours of our work day talking about life, issues, everything. Work for me summer 2009 was thee HIGHLIGHT of my day (he never knew that). When i wasn't talking to him, i wanted to talk and be around him, i felt seriously insane. Just a week b4 i met him i had sworn off men, so me even thinkin about liking him when i met him wasn't an option. SO We became best friends over night. He was my confidant and I was his, He was the laugh i needed, he was the faith that I needed to be restored in me after letting it waver, and on top of that he wasn't too bad on the eyes ;)

I seriously tried my best not to fall in love, but it happened. People dont understand, our love now is a result of a freakin emotional roller coaster. We've been UP but child let me tell you we been DOWN. There was a time when i knew that my feelings were getting too strong so i requested we just be friends. I always told him I'd be his friend b4 ANYTHING. because as a friend, he made my days brighter. I'd risk not having him emotionally just to have his friendship becuz it was that important to me.

yada yada yada skippin hella points of the story, eventually the mutual feelings and hurdles that existed got too much to bare. Conversation was had, process was started and VOILA! without trying i got my MAN! hehehe jk but no seriously it was effortless. Thats the way u know its something real, it happens naturally. I can't explain how happy Ive been since the beginning of this summer or better yet how fruitful my life has been since 6/15/09.

Im not perfect and he deals with me. I love the way he loves my imperfections as I do his. I always tell him, when we're together it feels like im hangin with my homie lol. We are seriously bffs and we don't have to speak words to let eachother know how we feel becuase its evident its there. He not only loves me but he accepts the most important part of my life, my baby girl. I applaud him for not only accepting her but also being proactive about being a positive image in her world. For a young man, that really impresses me. I thought my lil crazy baby mighta scared him away by now but he's still here. He knows there's not expectations of him but he always goes the extra mile to be supportive of me in everything i do. That's why i'll stand behind him and refuse to see him fall EVER.

yup I turned in my pimpn card! lol jk but seriously i don't need anything else to supplement my needs. AS im typing i feel crazy because its almost like im tellin a fairytale, but that makes me smile becuz i know its my reality. For the first time, i can't relate to all the sad crazy break up songs on the radio. I was thinkin to myself while driving the other day when Keisha Cole "i remember" and chris brown "deuces" came on...like "man i don't know how that feels anymore." then Monica "love all over me" comes on lol hehe i know all about that :)

True story: the day before I met him, as I stated before I was going through a retarded break up, closure period. I was with all honesty EXHAUSTED with men, relationships, and my own judgement on these things. While driving past the Caseyville exit one sunday i remember saying outloud "I put it in your hands God, like for real i give up, when your ready I know you'll send me a good man one day." Little did I know, he had a "gift" in overnight mail arriving monday morning....God is good, ALL the time.

it's all about progression...loiterers should be arrested

hello. ive been gone for a hot lil minute but im back again. its 2010 for goodness sakes. On the first day of the year I claimed prosperity and for some reason i can already feel it in my bones. success is nipping at my nose lol. Right now all i have is a dollar and a dream....literally lol but not to worry becuz faith is what gets me through:) I have got a brand new outlook on life....just do it...and if not keep movin. i feel like im walking on air lately as opposed to the clouds i was trampling a couple months ago. the result of my analytical mind taking over my life ;) a great friend of mine always tells me " you over think things" lol hmmph! i do not :/ hmmm well ok ok as much as i hate to say it...he's right. so now i just coast. if things don't go my way, that means that i have an alternate route to something more superior. it's such excitement when you don't plan stuff and then it just happens. so im applying this to my career, famiily life, emotional life, academic career, u name it. this stuff rocks. worryin is for suckas :P. I intend on accomplishing big things in 2010....Due to my constant hustle...a chunky lil number of people have decided that they are not going to take me into 2010 with them. By no means am i cold hearted, but if you're not my friend because i gotta grind then thats a friendship that was well deserved to be lost. People don't understand sometimes that it's not a choice for me whether or not i have to plan big and move swiftly. This is what i've come to know due to circumstances and my pretty love Ava bug:) I'm taking a goon squad with me this year of those that i call my "success chasers" if you tryin win in 2010...you made the cut. I need to surround myself with people who are just as ambitious and goal oriented as myself, in hopes that i don't go astray in my journey. I gotta say, the squad is lookin good this year. i couldn't be happier with my social life as it is right now. I have amazing friends that i ADOREEEE. and a family that rocks my world. what more do i need. this year marks the year of 25 :x i would continue but my time has come im offff.....continuation this week. xoxo