The title of this blog pretains to what i intend on touching on. These three things are essential yet such hard things to come by. I feel provoked to write this blog due to numerous conversations with many beautiful (inside and out) ladies that have come to me weary about situations concerning their emotional/relationship life. I think there are alot of things that need to be found out about one self before involving yourself with another being. I try to be a blessing to others by sharing my own stories. In hopes that maybe this will shed light on their own situation and then after show them that bad relationships/emotional hurt goes away and can be overcome after seeing or hearing about how far i've come from my own hum bug situations lol.
It hurts me to see ladies who define themselves only with the presence of a man. Its true and biblical that we were not meant to be alone, hence God creating Eve.....
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be all alone." (Genesis 2:18)
"So The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs [also translated took part of the man's side] and closed up the place with flesh. Then The Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:21-24)
However, it is not biblical to say that you should make your days and journey about finding "mr. right" This can be detrimental to some who haven't really discovered who they are and in the mean time are looking for someone to fill the void they possess. What they fail to realize is even if they happen to stumble upon Mr. Right she'll still be Mrs. Wrong. I remember back in the day when the RuPaul show (thats right i watched it LOL) used to come on when i was about 10 or 11 years old. The one thing i can always remember her/him saying at the end of the program was "if you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" SO TRUE! think about it,, i don't know about anybody else but i want somebody who cares for themselves already, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically etc. Who wants to be a house, car or new pair of pants that they can't go home and enjoy/wear but have to repair first??????!!!! I'm a true believer that a relationship should encompass two whole individuals. I better like to state that as saying "look for someone to compliment you not a supplement" For example....we have a girl who is the typical serial dater (never known this chick to be wit out a man) who involves herself in a serious relationship. She then begins to identify herself as "chicos girl, debos woman" whateva. Debo leaves her high and dry couple years later....and her brain is still stuck in how to survive without her male companion. She had no idea who she was before him and DEFINATELY doesn't know after. So she's now left to start from scratch. Not only does she have to find her OWN strength without him to repair her heart but now she has to navigate the things she should repair about herself to jump start her into being the woman that God created her to be.
It is IMPERATIVE' that people have "me" time. Until you understand what it is to be happy and giddy just with "me, myself and I" then how will you be able to fully enjoy the company of someone else???. I might not know all the secrets but from my point of view, a man that exhibits confidence and stability by his lonesome is SUPPPPERRR ATTRACTIVE. i assume on the male end this would be the same. I know if i was a man i wouldn't want some woman with baggage and no self identity. You think Barack married Michelle because she was on his jock with no self confidence or identity. No, actually if you ask me Barack got with michelle because of her strength, independence, integrity, because of her intelligence, and from the beauty she exuded from these characteristics. Same goes for Coretta Scott King, Jackie O....just to name a few.
'bEHIND every strong man is a strong woman"
Look at the Proverbs 31 woman.....to sum it up she was what we call "that deal" lol and her hubby was also a go getter ...Proverbs 31:23 "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land" thats right. while she held down the house, the kids, was honored by her husband, was a business woman, was a steward, upheld the definition of what a woman should be "price far beyond rubies" her sweetie was gettin it done and noble among others. i doubt this dude woulda been half the man with out ms Proverbs 31 :)
like the bible scripture i quote earlier about eve coming out of the mans rib and being made so that Adam didn't have to be alone. That is what I believe God made us for. To be companions and to provide love to our mate...but also to be strength. I don't think we woman realize how strong we are sometimes....i mean as quoted we were made from the man to be "bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh" although we may not be identically equal in physical strength The lord gave us a different type of phenomenal strength. Question is do you know how strong you are?
The answer to that question can not be answered without you taking a look back at the things you have endured/conquered and using them as a reminder for what you are capable of overcoming. Thats the first step. Dont look back and beat yourself up about situations that you have experienced better yet,,,,,TAKE NOTES. there is not testimony without a test. Whether you feel as though you made a stupid choice or the best one. lEARN FROM IT! that is the only way to gain WISDOM. and to do that it takes COURAGE. it takes courage to be able to examine your life situations and choices dead in the face and take them for what they were but u have to do it. in life like one of my favorite songs by Mary Mary goes "you need a little dirt to grow"
Basically what im trying to say is first things first.....Love YOU. focus on you, what you are capable of doing, what you aspire to do, and what you would like to do for others. Instead of sulking about your loneliness take that time for self-evaluation. The right man will come along in due time....BUT just like you want a WHOLE MAN don't short him and not be all together yourself. "THE right man at the wrong time is even worst then the Wrong man at anytime" Above all pRay for discernment because we all know how the heart works it has a MIND OF ITS OWN!!!! aahhhhhh!!! LOL proverbs 4:23 says "guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." What does this mean...it means that the heart just loves to love especially when you choose to walk with Jesus...HOWEVER....guarding you heart to me just simply means consulting with Him before trusting your own instincts and he will lead you on the path to follow. TRY HIM he works. I hate to sound like i'm preaching because He's still working on me.......i just know that i could go on and on about situations that i NEVERRRRRR thought in a million years my heart would be repaired over. BUT i know the only way i ever gained the STRENGTH. COURAGE. & WISDOM. I have today...is with assistance from Him....
IN CONCLUSION....quit POLLUTING your heart with unfruitful relationships and wait for the one that was meant for you to have and by all means until they come use discretion and use HIM. GET WITH YOURSELF ONE ON ONE AND BE ALL U CAN BE!!!! so that you can be a prize for someonelse capable of being the same to you.
signing off until next time....
jenius
*remember to love*
